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FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Paper Cut" published September 6, 2015 - Peter: What's wrong? Jason: I have a paper cut on my lip. Peter: Ouch... I've done that. You were licking envelopes?? Jason: Um, no. Peter: So what were you doing? Jason: Nothing. Don't worry about it. Peter: You were kissing your homework again, weren't you. In case no one's ever told you, you have a very weird love life. Jason: Trust me, these were really hot math problems.

Paper Cut

September 6, 2015

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Shakin’ It Way Off" published August 30, 2015 - Roger: 'Cause the playahs gonna play play play play play... Peter: Paige will you stop singing in the shower?! Roger: And the hatahs gonna hate hate hate hate hate baby... Peter: You don't even sound like Taylor Swift! Roger: I'm just gonna shake shake shake shake shake... Peter: Your voice is too high and screechy! Roger: Shake it off! A-shake it off! Woo! Peter: You sound like a 14-year-old girl imitating a DYING RODENT imitating Taylor Swift! Roger: Paige isn't home, Peter. Peter: Actually, a tone-deaf dying rodent!

Shakin’ It Way Off

August 30, 2015

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Watch Out For Sandworms" published August 23, 2015 - Marcus: Clearly, your sister never read "Dune." Jason: I tried to warn her. Oh, well.

Watch Out For Sandworms

August 23, 2015

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "No Worries" published August 16, 2015 - Roger: Nothing like being out in nature to clear your mind of life's worries. Andy: Apart from ticks. Roger: Ha ha, yeah, apart from ticks. Andy: And poison ivy. Roger: And poison ivy. Andy: And snakes. And blisters. Roger: Ok, you've made your point. Andy: And getting lost with insufficient food. ...In a downpour. Roger: Will you knock it off?!

No Worries

August 16, 2015

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Tastyshapes" published August 9, 2015 - Jason: Cylinders? Clerk: Nope. Jason: Pyramids? Clerk: Nope. Jason: Spheres? Hemispheres? Clerk: Nope. Nope. Jason: Hexagonal prisms. Clerk: Nope. Jason: Planes? Dodecahedrons? Ring tori? Clerk: Nope. Nope. Nope. Jason: You're telling me all you have are cones? Clerk:Yup. Jason: The ice cream industry needs to hire some geometry nerds. Peter: Would a waffle plane be infinite? I'd totally get one of those.

Tastyshapes

August 9, 2015

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Iguaminus Rex" published August 2, 2015 - Jason: Wait... Where's Quincy?? Marcus: He's not in his paddock? Jason: Check for heat signatures! Marcus: Nope. Nothing. Jason: He must've escaped! Let me ping his tracking beacon. Marcus: I'll dispatch some fruit pieces to have a look around. Jason: This is weird. His tracking beacon says he's still inside. Marcus: What?! I just sent in a mango chunk and two grapes! Jason: AAAA!!! Get out there, fruit!!! Marcus: He's in there with you!!! RUN!!! Peter Guys, he's an iguana, not a baby "Jurassic World" dinosaur. Jason: I can't watch. Marcus, Oh, that poor grape!

Iguaminus Rex

August 2, 2015

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