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jason, Page 3

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Capital Punishment" published September 22, 2019 - Jason: As you enter the dungeon, you see before you an elderly woman. She says that in order to pass, you must answer her questions correctly. Are you ready? Marcus: Yes. Jason: "What is the capital of Michigan?" Marcus: Lansing. Jason: "What is the capital of Nevada?" Marcus: Carson City. Jason: "What is the capital of Pennsylvania?" Marcus: Philadelphia? Jason: WRONG! She shapeshifts into a demon, plunges a fist into your chest and rips out your heart! Marcus: Ouch. Teacher: About the way you two study for tests... Jason: It helps us get extra-motivated. Marcus: You see before you an elderly woman...

Capital Punishment

September 22, 2019

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Poser" published September 8, 2019 - Peter: Do you think there'll ever come a day, like in "Westworld" or "Terminator," where you could have killer robots posing as normal human beings? Jason: *BEEP* Parsing query... Checking language dataset... Generating optimal response... No, brother. You have nothing to worry about. Sleep well tonight. Peter: Note, I said NORMAL human beings. Jason: *BEEP* Parsing sarcasm...

Poser

September 8, 2019

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Classic Jason" published September 1, 2019 - Peter: Whatcha playing? Jason: World of Warquest Classic. Peter: "Classic"? Jason: Yeah, they came out with a retro version that plays just like it did back in 2006. Peter: How's it different? Jason: Basically, everything is harder and takes way longer to do. Peter: And you enjoy that? Jason: Oh, yes. Paige: Jason, I need to use the computer for homework! Jason: You can have it after I get the silver from these raptors, Paige. Paige: You said that hours ago! Peter: I guess I can see the appeal. Jason: Oh, darn. Died again.

Classic Jason

September 1, 2019

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Dog Day of Summer" published June 30, 2019 - Jason: Can you take me grocery shopping sometime this week? Andy: What for? Jason: I need to get hot dogs and buns for the Fourth of July hot dog eating contest I'm organizing. Unlike the one at Coney Island, mine won't have a time limit. It'll be eat all the hot dogs you can until you collapse. Last eater standing, sitting or breathing wins! Andy: Jason, this sounds like a really, really bad idea. Jason: Dad and Peter think it's a great idea. Andy: Yes, that's exactly why. Jason: Also, do we have a larger pot? Dad says we'll need a larger pot.

Pack to School

August 18, 2019

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Mostmallows" published August 11, 2019 - Paige: Amateurs.

Mostmallows

August 11, 2019

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Wish Fulfillment" published August 4, 2019 - Paige: Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight... I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight. Jason: That's not a star. That's Jupiter. Paige: Star light, start bright, first start I see tonight... Jason: That's Saturn. Paige: Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight... Jason: That's an airplane. Paige: Star light, star bright... oh, wait, that's the moon. Jason: This is too painful. I'm going inside. Paige: Well, whaddya know? I got my wish anyway!

Wish Fulfillment

August 4, 2019